Friday, March 25, 2011

Emotional Basket Case - Nadiah(03)

Personally, I guess that these feeling such as being depressed, lonely, heartbroken, being different from the peers and having to put up a brave front are something that we will go through part and parcel of our life. I dislike these kinds of feelings as it makes me emotional and uncomfortable. My heart will feel unsettled and I will have a change in mood. I will put all the blame towards my friends and family, which means, indirectly hurting their feelings. I could not think straight whenever I go through this kind of feelings. I could not focus on my studies and day-dream. As everyone will be going through this kind of feelings, I bet that it is impossible for someone to avoid it. However from avoiding it, we can overcome them, be it with the help of ourselves or from the people surrounding you.

Depression is an illness that affects the way one thinks and feels about everything. They will always feel sad or hopeless, without having the mood to do anything. In my opinion, I guess that depression will come by each of us soon and to overcome it, we need to know our limitations our body can take. It is not easy to overcome them. Depression will lead to mental breakdown and one would not be able to think straight. One will also tend to ignore the people around them and what is happening around them too. I think that depression came about mostly from stress or heartbreak. When one is stress with work, one might just break down and have a flood of emotions. When I feel stress, I will not think before I speak and I will say whatever that I think of at the moment. Unintentionally, I will hurt the people around me. Sometimes, one might hide their feelings and put on a cheerful smile in front of others. I guess that by pretending to be happy, one will feel more depressed and sad on the inside. Whenever I feel depressed, I will calm down and sort out my thinkings. By doing that, I need some personal space and I will set aside time alone for myself. That would help me in some soul-searching and made me realise what I really want for myself. Now, I try to prioritise my time and handle my stress slowly.

Being lonely is what I despise the most. Even though I have experiences it through a lot of times, I tried to overcome it. I tried to get along well with friends and crack some jokes with them. Sometimes, I tried to find my weakness and try to fit in with them. I do not like to be left alone because I like to hang out with people and interact with them.

I do not experience severe heartbreaks before but my friends shared with me some of her stories. It was hurtful to be in love and you have to pay the consequences be it academics and personal life. Sometimes, it is hard to get over the person you love maybe overone week or even one year. If I ever experience heartbreak, I will consult and ask advice from counsellors and friends. I will also try to remember my painful moments with him so that it will be easier for me to let go of him. It’s better to move on with life instead of living off with the heartbreaks. Nowadays, love for teenagers is just puppy love. We will get to understand the real meaning of love when we grow older.

Sometimes, I do feel like I am different from my peers. But, being different means I am unique. Everyone is unique in a way and we have to be proud of it. However, when I do feel seriously left out or feel different, I will try to encourage myself to achieve the same standards as them.

Having putting a brave front is somewhat a difficult thing for me to do. I am a weak person and I could not accept shocking news. Sometimes, I will lie and put up a brave front in front of everyone to make people assured. I will bottle my feelings only to myself as I find that my friends do not really understand me and if I share problems with them, they might not understand me. It is related to being different with the peers as we are unique in every single way. But I think that it is not a god way of bottling it up to myself as sometimes, when I cannot take it, I will just go crazy and cry for no apparent reason. I will feel that life is unfair to me. In school, people always assume that I am a cheerful girl but at home I feel lonely and emotional. When that happens, I will listen to soothing songs and by watching my favourite idols, it brought a smile to my face.

In conclusion, whenever I feel this kind of feelings, I will relax my mind and let my thinkings go wild. I will also share my problems with family as they are close to me. Listening to soothing songs also help me rejuvenate and feel refreshed. By doing sports, helped me to remove this kinds of feelings from my mind and enjoy myself. I will not care what other people say about me, I will stand on my own feet and believe in what I think.

No comments:

Post a Comment